6th August 2007 - Diary Entry
We found out yesterday that Asher has been accepted into Novita which is great. Its such a relief to know that he'll be receiving the help he needs. I dont know much about it yet but we will have a meeting with them to discuss everything.
28th August 2007 - Diary Entry
Life is so busy at the moment with all of Ashers appointments. At least they come to our house some of the time now.
25th September 2007 - Diary Entry
Ash is standing up a lot more lately and his confidence is growing. Indie and Ash are so cute together. Ash loves trying to make Indie laughg and they both tease each other, its hilarious to watch. Indie will tug on his clothes and pull at his dummy and raspberry and laugh in Ashys face. Asher will hug her, hold her hand, and ask her whats the matter when she is upset. Its pretty cute.
They're a handful though. Ash has become a mummys boy and Indie is quite demanding also, and they usually demand my attention at the same time. Thankfully they are good kids and they sleep well. It can only get better and easier from here.
4th October 2007 - Diary Entry
Ashy has just started pushing his trolley along which is truly amazing and such an achievement for him. On the other hand he's finding his frustration difficult to cope with and some un-wanted behaviours are popping up. I think he has been having some difficulties with the way he interacts with both strangers and the people that are familiar to him. Its been dreadfully heartbreaking seeing the frustration in his eyes, and his actions when he cant do exactly what he would like to. It makes me cry thinking about how he must be feeling, and actually I really wish I could get into his mind and see whats going on. Ash gets a holiday at mums next week so it will be interesting to see what his behavior will be for mum.
31st October 2007 - Diary Entry
I went to Ashers Hanen course tonight which I do every Wednesday night, and there are two more weeks until the course is finished. I feel so alone when I go there. I feel like the odd one out, and I feel sick sitting there actually. Its the same sort of feeling I got at the hospital surrounded by middle age women. I feel like an idiot, like I dont belong and shouldnt be there. There are no young women I can relate to, just older couples who dont talk to me. It makes me feel worthless and like im the only young mother with a disabled child.
I also hate the fact that Greg doesnt get involved with any of Ashers therapy - none of it. He doesnt even ask me about it or seem to care if I try to talk to him about it. I cant talk to him or anyone about what im feeling either because there is noone that understands or is/has experienced the same thing.
I feel so depressed and alone but I guess I just have to cope. I keep wondering why me, what am I meant to be learning from this? Im trying my hardest for Ash but I just dont know what else I can do to help him.
It was cute the other day. I put Ash in the naughty corner for some reason and when I went to get him out he was crying and had a couple tears rolling down his face. Anyway whilst he was telling me he was sorry and that he wouldnt do it again, he got his chubby little hand and finger pointing to each tear on his face going 'pop' 'pop'. Geez Ashy you sure do know how to break mummys heart! I thought.
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